I need training wheels…

My son, Daniel, wore the training wheels off of his bike.

Seriously.

By the time he was 7 years old or so, he had put a ton of miles on his bike pedaling with me on the American River Bike Trail as I trained  for the San Francisco marathon. When he was ready to take them off, it was more by necessity than preference. He literally had worn the rubber off of them!

I view my “tracking” the calories I am ingesting while eating 0 to 5 sort of like training wheels. Until June 7th, I had lost my way in successfully eating 0 to 5 without the additional support of my “training wheels.” With this support, now, I can ride! I will have my balance back again soon!

When I lost the use of my legs in 2014, I used a walker to learn how to walk again. As I gained my strength and balance in my legs, I was able to release my dependence on the walker. I am learning to walk again in my 0 to 5 eating by adding the extra accountability that comes with keeping track of the energy that I am ingesting. Soon, I won’t be doing that any more. I will be able to be free from these additional tools.

**Again, I don’t recommend this approach for anyone (see my “My Dirty Little Secret” post here) and do, in fact, recommend against it!

Search me, God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

    and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

It’s been four weeks since beginning this experiment. Releasing 13 pounds in that time has been both a blessing and a challenge. It’s been a blessing for obvious reasons. It’s been a challenge because the weight gain I have experienced up until that time revealed that I had been deceived. (In the days ahead, I will be looking at what might have contributed to the deception that resulted in a weight gain of 100 pounds.😳)

The weight loss has slowed in the last two weeks. I still wonder if, at some point, no matter how little I eat, no matter how faithfully I follow 0 to 5 or how active I am, if I will likely stop experiencing even slow steady weight loss.

But then, it really isn’t about weight loss.  Or is it?

For me, it sort of is a LOT about weight loss. My health demands it.

Right now, my mobility is severely compromised. I have demanded a lot of my joints over the years. Arthritis has set in and now, my knee is screaming at me. I know my body needs me to release the extra weight if I am going to live the life that I love and take responsibility for my body as the temple of the Holy Spirit, entrusted only to my care. I also know that, in the past, I released weight eating 0 to 5 even stuck on bed rest when I had a broken leg and dislocated ankle twenty years ago.

Some of you have asked if I will keep doing this experiment. I believe the Lord wants me to continue this “experiment”—using my “training wheels” or “walker” until August 7th. At that time, I should be able to go without those tools. 

There ARE some things for me to be mindful of, such as steering clear of obsession that owned me during my dieting days. Even now, I feel like I need to do some “observation and correction” about the way I have begun to think about using the tracker and bathroom scale.

I remember how I felt when my physical therapist told me to leave my walker behind, that we were going for a walk around the supermarket parking lot without it for the first time. I was nervous without my walker or hiking poles when I was learning to walk again! Similarly, I am nervous about the idea of doing life without my tools to keep me honest about 0 to 5. But the goal is to return to freedom and I know: This ain’t it!

Lord, please give me a heart of integrity. Search me and know me. Show me where there is deception or denial, or self-centeredness. Direct me that I might honor you and emerge from this experiment not just with less physical weight on my body, but with a deeper love for you, a greater intimacy with my Savior. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

6 comments

  1. Oh, Heidi. No matter what journey you are on, you certainly are gifted with the ability to share it for the good of others. What a gift you have and are to many!!!
    ❤️☝️☝️💕. T

    Like

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